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Christopher Booth's avatar

I am particularly interested in your discussion of appstinence (good word!) vs. moderate use.

It mirrors my experience with alcohol, and I think that of many other heavy substance users - that is, moderation for me is simply not a viable option.

It is as if the steady increase in use over time resulted in a ratchet that never releases, or resets, but can only go upward. Even after months of zero alcohol intake, when I had grown convinced I could now safely have a drink or two, I either 'white knuckled' the day to when I could sink a drink, or returned to peak use within as little as 48 hours.

Wrestling with that very strong impulse - overwhelmingly strong, ultimately - was far harder than deciding to rule out alcohol in perpetuity. I believe after a certain point, your brain is rewired in such a way that there is no 'safe' amount.

But if you approach abstinence in the right way, It stops it being even a question in your mind - and when you notice you aren't looking at the bottles in the supermarket, or not thinking twice about getting a tea rather than a beer, you feel liberated, not deprived. Grateful that you are the master of your life again, and that your self-respect is not under permanent threat. I have been booze-free for 12 months. Long may it last.

I am no expert, but I suspect the neurology of phone addiction is similar.

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Shannon's avatar

I am a Millennial that remembers life (and being a teen/young adult) before modern forms of social media. I don’t know anyone my age or older that wishes we had modern social media when we were younger. I think that is really saying something.

I would highly encourage people to view tech, but especially smartphones, as merely one item on a continuum and not inherently the “better” option simply because it is newer and faster. I have found that it is sometimes easier and cheaper to pay by check for some services. But it is rarely discussed. I added a home phone and it was surprisingly reasonably priced. Now I don’t need to worry about always having my cell phone out and available “just in case of emergency.”

I get magazines and a newspaper subscription and I am raising my kids to do the same. I want my kids to be paying customers of media, not the product. Online platforms are financially cheaper but that is because they are selling the highly specific marketing of YOU. This is very different than a magazine or newspaper where an advertiser markets to a general audience.

I would encourage others to do the same and have a variety of media in your home. I do have to make room in my budget for those things, but in my case I am supporting a small town newspaper that does a fantastic job of keeping the news articles objective. The news is straightforward, and the opinions are kept in the opinions section. That is so valuable! That is healthy to read! It respects boundaries of time, (arrives at set intervals, not 24/7) attention, and objectivity. They can do this because they aren’t striving for page views and virality online. They are selling a regular schedule of news coverage to customers in their local area. Find yourself some good magazines and a good small newspaper to support. It is an investment in your well-being. There is nothing like a cup of coffee and reading something that respects my attention span. You can still share it, too. Hand it to a friend and discuss it.

I am glad to see more people stepping back from social media. There are still plenty of ways around it. The older media still exists. We just need to intentionally invest in it because it requires more intentionality than social media.

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