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Helicopter mom's avatar

I get the need for the science behind the assertion that social media creates anxiety and depression. But smartphones do so much more damage than that. I have run my own experiments with my 5 children and it was stunning to see the difference in their behavior. The first day was awful but by day 2 they started to change and by day 3 they were back to my amazing children. We all talked about the huge difference. This was in 2018. Every person can use their critical thinking skills to make rational decisions about what they experience in their life. You don’t need an expert to tell you. Just as both Jon and Abigail Shrier have written-we have acquiesced our decision making to someone else. We as parents need to take that back. You really do know what is right for your kids.

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Greg Baer's avatar

Go through this article and substitute “social media” with the word “cocaine.” Over and over, we talk about the potential benefits of brief and partial reduction of “social media” use, ignoring the fact that in every imaginable way, social media use is an addiction. So is cocaine use. With that in mind, of course a reduction in either behavior or substance will lead to some improvement in mental health—or none. But we’re missing the point entirely. No cocaine recovery center strives for a brief or partial reduction in use. None. And no parent would strive for a brief or partial reduction in cocaine use at home. And yet here we are talking about brief and partial reduction of social media use because parents lack the courage and information required to eliminate all phone use before the age of 18. The kids simply don’t need the risk of phones, which are destroying the real joy of life for children and parents, as Jon has said.

But here’s the real point. Simply stopping an addiction is never enough, as every recovering addict knows. You must replace the addictive behavior with something constructive. What children need most is unconditional love—the kind without the stain of disappointment and anger. But parents don’t know how to give that. They never got it themselves. Controlling children or enabling them is not loving them. And parents don’t have to figure out unconditional love and guidance on their own. Just go to the free and agenda-free websites RealLove.com and RealLoveParents.com. I have nothing to sell. But I do offer thirty—30—years of intense experience with teaching parents and children all over the world. It’s love they need, not social media or phones or indulgence or entertainment.

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