I live in a new build suburb in England, so there are LOTS of children around. Our next door neighbour’s kids have been in their garden every single day the weather has permitted and, yes, sometimes it’s noisy, but every time I find myself wincing at a particularly loud screech or wail (because siblings playing will always result in someone crying eventually…😅), I think of how awesome it is that they’re playing without screens for multiple hours most days. I hope that when I have kids, they’ll be as happy to play outside all the time! Noise complaints for regular life activities have become so common place, it’s really impacting our lives. Kids can’t play outside, parties and celebrations are cut off at 7pm to avoid neighbours calling the police, and music has to be played at an unnoticeable volume at all times. We are simultaneously secluded in our homes and alienated from the comfort of enjoying our own space.
The premise of this post reminds of the big issue people have with Kids being on planes. I personally am one to believe if we want our kids to be comfortably a part of society when they grow up we need to start including them from their formative years. And while the world makes one think it’s a crazy concept, I’m glad to see a post like this for a value I very much believe in.
I think there are two much larger issues at play that exacerbate the complaints about children’s play.
1) what Jay Griffiths calls “the loss of the commons”. So many spaces that were once available to kids - undeveloped lots, local woodlands or agricultural land, beaches and riverbanks are now either gone to development or access restricted by property owners nervous about litigation or loss of exclusivity. So, like urban wildlife, kids are forced into contact with home and business owners, who have all the power, and conflict ensues;
2) the collapse of the village. The old saying “it takes a village” doesn’t apply for so many families anymore. Parents and adults need to model the behavior that they want to see for their kids, and get to know their neighbors. If an adult, esp an older adult, doesn’t know the kids playing (or acting poorly) they are much more likely to lodge an official complaint than call or talk to the parents. Holding all ages events for your immediate community - Halloween, yard sales, Holiday parties, open houses etc allows neighbors of all ages to become familiar and comfortable w each other.
Yes! This is part of a bigger issue where there are fewer and fewer spaces in general where kids can be kids and also be with adults. We've tried to separate everything - kid spaces and adult spaces. Which is harmful for everybody. Kids need to be around adults to learn. Adults need to be around kids to keep healthy perspectives. We need each other and it's OK if kids are loud sometimes.
We were all kids once so to deny kids is ultimately to denying ourselves. Great piece!
Thank you for another timely and important post, Katherine. The sounds of kids playing is music to my ears these days, and adults who think otherwise can hopefully reframe their thinking. Playing is the work of children, and in order to become successful adult humans, they need lots of it!
For the past 30 years I have lived adjacent to a school playing field. Children's squeals are the soundtrack of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. You might as well eliminate birdsong.
We love the sound of children playing happily. That’s how our children played. Unfortunately, that’s not always the sound. Our neighbor’s children fight, yell angrily, screech at each other, and don’t sound happy. The parents allow them to disrupt the neighborhood with their constant loud fighting. They don’t teach them consideration for others.
Totally off topic: my wife and I enjoyed an anniversary luncheon at a local upscale eatery, mostly because we were seated near what seemed an ideal family group. I wasn't sure of all the relationships but it seemed like two couples, maybe a generation apart, and a cutie and maybe an uncle. What especially struck me that is relevant to Jon's interests is that from start to finish NOBODY pulled out a cell phone! All the conversation seemed good-natured. The little girl got restless near the end so she got a hug from her daddy. That was like dessert!
Hold the phone. All noises are not similar. Closest warning to your situation might be pickleball. Putting four courts in that cage would be way worse than kids playing. And, adults would want to play too. In my city I worked hard to insist that there be no pickleball expansion / rehab to a court on the corner with homes and business nearby.
Or, consider dirt bikes / quads.
I am also guilty of leading a very loud activity, water polo. So many whistles.
We moved last year with our 4 kids into a quiet little neighborhood. It was such a relief when so many new neighbors came by to say they "loved" hearing the kids playing, and were so happy to have young families around again. I remember thinking how lucky we had it that we didn't have the opposite. Reading these stories is so sad to me as a mom who focuses on making her kids spend a larger majority of their time outdoors.
Also loved the Block Party USA recommendation what an amazing resource! We were planning to do one of these this summer at our house I LOVE that other people are.
If I hear children being noisy I reflect on the fact that one day they may be the ones who are looking after me when I’m getting on in years and in hospital or a care home. I decide to show them some respect and let them have a bit of fun.
The fact that a court case was needed to declare "the sound of children playing should not be considered a nuisance"....
At some point, we've got to realize that it is is in ALL of our best interests to nurture healthy children, whether we personally have children or not.
Exceptions for me are electronic noise (video games, books / toys that play sound effects) and profanity. We moved from our last neighborhood in part because we got tired of hearing people stroll down the street yelling filthy things at each other (or playing filthy music, and sometimes both.)
I’m pretty sensitive to noise, but honestly I find adults way more annoying! Many of them just talk loudly with no regard for others, and they should know better. (A recent phenomenon is people video chatting on speakerphone in public places like the library and even restrooms! Gross, and also a violation of privacy for anyone who happens to be nearby.)
I live in a new build suburb in England, so there are LOTS of children around. Our next door neighbour’s kids have been in their garden every single day the weather has permitted and, yes, sometimes it’s noisy, but every time I find myself wincing at a particularly loud screech or wail (because siblings playing will always result in someone crying eventually…😅), I think of how awesome it is that they’re playing without screens for multiple hours most days. I hope that when I have kids, they’ll be as happy to play outside all the time! Noise complaints for regular life activities have become so common place, it’s really impacting our lives. Kids can’t play outside, parties and celebrations are cut off at 7pm to avoid neighbours calling the police, and music has to be played at an unnoticeable volume at all times. We are simultaneously secluded in our homes and alienated from the comfort of enjoying our own space.
The premise of this post reminds of the big issue people have with Kids being on planes. I personally am one to believe if we want our kids to be comfortably a part of society when they grow up we need to start including them from their formative years. And while the world makes one think it’s a crazy concept, I’m glad to see a post like this for a value I very much believe in.
I think there are two much larger issues at play that exacerbate the complaints about children’s play.
1) what Jay Griffiths calls “the loss of the commons”. So many spaces that were once available to kids - undeveloped lots, local woodlands or agricultural land, beaches and riverbanks are now either gone to development or access restricted by property owners nervous about litigation or loss of exclusivity. So, like urban wildlife, kids are forced into contact with home and business owners, who have all the power, and conflict ensues;
2) the collapse of the village. The old saying “it takes a village” doesn’t apply for so many families anymore. Parents and adults need to model the behavior that they want to see for their kids, and get to know their neighbors. If an adult, esp an older adult, doesn’t know the kids playing (or acting poorly) they are much more likely to lodge an official complaint than call or talk to the parents. Holding all ages events for your immediate community - Halloween, yard sales, Holiday parties, open houses etc allows neighbors of all ages to become familiar and comfortable w each other.
Yes! This is part of a bigger issue where there are fewer and fewer spaces in general where kids can be kids and also be with adults. We've tried to separate everything - kid spaces and adult spaces. Which is harmful for everybody. Kids need to be around adults to learn. Adults need to be around kids to keep healthy perspectives. We need each other and it's OK if kids are loud sometimes.
We were all kids once so to deny kids is ultimately to denying ourselves. Great piece!
Definitely an observation I’ve made myself. 100% blatantly true today and it’s a shame
Thank you for another timely and important post, Katherine. The sounds of kids playing is music to my ears these days, and adults who think otherwise can hopefully reframe their thinking. Playing is the work of children, and in order to become successful adult humans, they need lots of it!
For the past 30 years I have lived adjacent to a school playing field. Children's squeals are the soundtrack of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. You might as well eliminate birdsong.
We love the sound of children playing happily. That’s how our children played. Unfortunately, that’s not always the sound. Our neighbor’s children fight, yell angrily, screech at each other, and don’t sound happy. The parents allow them to disrupt the neighborhood with their constant loud fighting. They don’t teach them consideration for others.
Yeah, it's when they are quiet that you know, they are up to no good
Totally off topic: my wife and I enjoyed an anniversary luncheon at a local upscale eatery, mostly because we were seated near what seemed an ideal family group. I wasn't sure of all the relationships but it seemed like two couples, maybe a generation apart, and a cutie and maybe an uncle. What especially struck me that is relevant to Jon's interests is that from start to finish NOBODY pulled out a cell phone! All the conversation seemed good-natured. The little girl got restless near the end so she got a hug from her daddy. That was like dessert!
Hold the phone. All noises are not similar. Closest warning to your situation might be pickleball. Putting four courts in that cage would be way worse than kids playing. And, adults would want to play too. In my city I worked hard to insist that there be no pickleball expansion / rehab to a court on the corner with homes and business nearby.
Or, consider dirt bikes / quads.
I am also guilty of leading a very loud activity, water polo. So many whistles.
We moved last year with our 4 kids into a quiet little neighborhood. It was such a relief when so many new neighbors came by to say they "loved" hearing the kids playing, and were so happy to have young families around again. I remember thinking how lucky we had it that we didn't have the opposite. Reading these stories is so sad to me as a mom who focuses on making her kids spend a larger majority of their time outdoors.
Also loved the Block Party USA recommendation what an amazing resource! We were planning to do one of these this summer at our house I LOVE that other people are.
If I hear children being noisy I reflect on the fact that one day they may be the ones who are looking after me when I’m getting on in years and in hospital or a care home. I decide to show them some respect and let them have a bit of fun.
The fact that a court case was needed to declare "the sound of children playing should not be considered a nuisance"....
At some point, we've got to realize that it is is in ALL of our best interests to nurture healthy children, whether we personally have children or not.
Completely agree! Great piece.
Exceptions for me are electronic noise (video games, books / toys that play sound effects) and profanity. We moved from our last neighborhood in part because we got tired of hearing people stroll down the street yelling filthy things at each other (or playing filthy music, and sometimes both.)
I’m pretty sensitive to noise, but honestly I find adults way more annoying! Many of them just talk loudly with no regard for others, and they should know better. (A recent phenomenon is people video chatting on speakerphone in public places like the library and even restrooms! Gross, and also a violation of privacy for anyone who happens to be nearby.)
We love the sound of playing children - who are these people?
This article makes me sad for kids growing up today.
Thank you for such an important message. We have lost this power being submerged in a morass of "safety." Here's an article on the forgotten power of unsupervised play. https://menaregood.substack.com/p/the-forgotten-power-of-unsupervised