Very sorry to read that Scouting is seeing such tough times in America.
I'm in the UK, and as well as being an anti-phone obsessive (as you might gather from the title of my Substack!), I also volunteer as a Scoutleader. The groups here remain incredibly popular, but as you might expect, are experiencing a shortage of volunteers.
Scouts is special. Many kids here have a packed schedule of other classes, mostly sports and dance. But they are heavily adult-led and over-organised in my opinion. Scouts stand out in valuing autonomy, trust in kids and a cheerfully freeform structure. Great to hear it championed.
And it’s for another time, but regarding adult-led sports clubs… I believe there is a huge and noticeable difference in the way kids play in adult led football/soccer than the way they did in informal “jumpers for goalposts” games. Always having an authority figure to appeal to is not a recipe for good behaviour and growth!
They spent alot of time teaching us about honesty and being trustworthy. They connected this to community. With the Boy Scouts, I had fraternal brothers. To this day, i love camping.
That's wonderful you had such positive experiences.
I said I was a Scoutleader. More accurately, I lead a Beaver group (6-8 year olds - I don't know if you use the same terminology in the US?). I have the joy and privilege of organising their first camp away from their parents. It's properly magical.
I was in Cub Scouts first (ages 6-12) and then Boy Scouts up to 8th grade. I would have stayed in it but the troop disbanded. I spent so much time reading the manual. So, when they took us for 1 night away from home, I couldn't sleep I was so excited. I grew up in the city and desperately wanted to learn how to survive in nature. Now, I take kids like me camping so they will have a great memory. Glad to hear you are a scout leader. I use many of the same principles even now.
YES! A thousand times YES to this - build community, get your kids active and involved in everything you can. Sports, clubs, activities, art, music. Force them if you have to! This idea that kids of any ages get to chose all of their own adventures is bullshit. Your job as a parent will forever be summed up in the phase "it's for your own good"
I know that perceptions have take a huge public hit in recent years (massively unfairly) but I can tell you that Boy Scouts has been awesome for my 14 & 16 yr old sons. I plan to write about the journey one one these days on Substack, but please - whether you have boys or girls, consider checking out your local Scout Troops. Give it a try! Your milage may vary, as Troops and Packs (Cub Scouts) are very individualized and driven by how much the parents invest in being leaders and working the programs, but it is 1,000% worth checking out. Hit me up on Substack if I can help in any way.
The lack of informal play groups is largely caused by the design of American neighborhoods built over the past half century, which are not walkable or bikable. Children who grow up in near suburbs built in the 1920s or before can just run around to each other's houses and play in the neighborhood, provided their parents aren't too paranoid. Kids in the exurbs can't go anywhere unless their parents agree to drive them there.
A relative worked with a Ukrainian woman who, with her husband, brought their two children over from Ukraine a few years before the war started. The 15-year-old girl became furiously rebellious and wanted to be sent back to her grandmother in Ukraine. Since I had lived in a similar country for a few years, my relative asked me if I had any idea what the girl's problem was. My educated guess was that in Ukraine she probably had free run of her town from age 5 on, even riding the bus, as I saw among kids where I lived. Then, at just the age where she is trying to gain still more independence, she's moved to an American exurb where she can't go anywhere unless her parents agreed to drive her.
Actually parents in cities made it work, too. Since I was Gen X, we had a lot of freedom exploring the city on our bikes. However, the Crack epidemic that hit in the early 80s changed that. By that time, I was a,teen.
One of the reasons for obesity among inner city kids now, I've read, is that it's too dangerous in some neighborhoods to go outside, so the kids stay cooped up all the time and eat.
Yes and no. There are neighborhoods where this is true. But declining community is also the culprit. People dont look out for each other like they did in the past. These fears are also fueling screen addiction, too.
The lack of good urban design is really underemphasized when considering the problem. Obviously the intentionality is key in forming these sorts of social groups. However, building our communities where this kind of interaction happens ORGANICALLY is key in solving the youth crisis. Kids can't build independence and participate in these kind of groups on a high enough level when they are dependent on parents to transport them. Parents who are both likely working full time due to high cost of living.
1.] Boy Scouts attendance collapsed immediately Courts mandated girls attend and women be Scout leaders. [And that’s causal not correlational.]
2.] Churches meet your definition of the necessary organisations, and have and continue to fulfil the function you, so correctly and accurately, identify.
One key component of the play-based childhood, and maybe the most-important element, is that—back in the day—most or many moms were at home, which meant kids were at home instead of at day care. Community groups can certainly be part of the fabric of neighborhood-centered youth culture, but if the kids aren't around because a parent isn't home to make that possible, I don't see how you gain traction by simply trying to revive the groups. My kids are raising their kids in a much different environment than my wife and I raised them and certainly than we ourselves were raised, and the biggest difference is that many or most moms are now at work and not at home.
My children are now in their 30's so it has been a while, but both my son and I were involved in Boy Scouts from the time he was a Tiger Scout to the time he received his Eagle. My wife and daughter were involved in Girl Scouts from Brownies to the time my daughter received her Gold Award. You hit the nail on the head. If you give kids responsibility, they rise to the occasion. As Scout leaders, we served largely in the background. The kids planned and cooked their own meals on campouts and set up their own campsites. We also had a hard and fast rule. NO ELECTRONICS ON A CAMPOUT!! Every year we had a new parent's meeting at the first campout. The message was DON'T HELP YOUR CHILD. Let the kids do everything. Adults camped in a separate area from the kids.
Things did not always go smoothly. Watching a group of eleven- to thirteen-year-old kids plan a menu and allocate chores, was actually pretty entertaining but they always got the job done. Parents can do things far faster and more efficiently that the kids. They can do those things with less conflict. But the whole point was about that conflict. That is how the kids learn and grow. When you remove that conflict, you remove the learning experience. And although there may have been more Oreo cookies on the menu than if an adult planned it the kids never starved and they always had hot meals for breakfast and dinner. Some of the meals were pretty darn good.
Your kids are ready for far more responsibility than you think. One of the things I really liked was watching the older boys helping and teaching the younger ones The job of a parent is to prepare your children for adulthood, not keep them wrapped in bubble wrap forever.
I taught the shotgun merit badge for many years, and I can tell you that the kids handled firearms far more safely than many adults I have seen. I started every class the same way. I would ask the kids how they would feel if their parents told them, OK, we have taken care of you long enough. You are on your own now. I would then explain I was going to do exactly that. When they were on the range, I would treat them like adults, and I would expect them to behave like adults. I explained to them that part of being an adult is zero-tolerance for being a kid around firearms. Once the firearms were cased and packed away, they could go back to being kids again. I probably taught over 100 kids "first shots" and I never had a single issue. That is not the case with some adults I have worked with.
The Eagle Scout award greatly helped my son to get in the university he wanted to attend. I recommend Scouts to anyone with children.
"Your kids are ready for far more responsibility than you think. One of the things I really liked was watching was the older boys helping and teaching the younger ones The job of a parent is to prepare your children for adulthood, not keep them wrapped in bubble wrap forever."
Wonderful response Jory!! As a Scoutmaster I often tell the other parents that the hardest part of the job is NOT helping!! NOT giving immediate answers. Letting them figure it out, following a chain-of-command of other Scouts and relying on the experience of the older Scouts to come up with solutions and face any consequences themselves.
The adults are just guardrails.
I wish all parents could experience just 1 meal prep/cooking/eating together/clean-up session on a Scout campout, complete with camp fire building, wood chopping, charcoal lighting and Dutch Oven meals.
Most would be amazed to see 14 and 15 year olds leading the way and 11 and 12 year olds doing so much more than most other parents would have believed them capable of.
Very interesting analysis, but I believe two aspects of 21st century childhood were left out: excessive homework and after-school arrangements for children of working parents.
If we consider working parents, and many households still are still 2 breadwinner households. Who supervises the children from the end of school till parents get home? What is the responsibility to the after school caretaker in getting kids to and from Scouts or 4-H?
Also, are parents setting an example for their children to join organizations? Are the parents involved in their communities or are their lives mostly consumed by their jobs? I bring this up because i see from both stats and personal experience that it is very difficult to get adults involved in tradtional service oriented orgs like the Lions, Rotary, Elks and other groups. Even the attendance at American Legion has fallen. So, if parents are not setting an example of involvement, can we expect them to get their children involved? (Although I do see parents who use their children's organizational involvement as a way for them to be involved and social....although I personally find this odd and that problems develop when the kids are grown.).
Excessive homework especially in lower grades can be a deterrant for children's involvement and playtime as well. Although this might not be as big an issue across all school districs. Where it is, it can be a reason for lack of involvement.
Overall the issue of separating children from screens can be considered to be a bigger issue than "what's wrong with kids these days?". It could be more of a "what's wrong with families these days?" And "are these parents all right?" Maybe parents need less screen time too.
I have a friend who helps with coaching kids in sports, and he loves it. Adults can also jump on this wagon.
In regards to the subject matter here, I would say watch out for the acerbic things. In the US, we have a "boy scouts" and a "girl scouts". In Israel, they have "Hebrew Scouts", "Orthodox Scouts", "Arab Scouts", "Catholic Scouts", and "Druze Scouts", and they don't mix. Robert Putnam often uses the KKK as an example of community building with negative effects.
I find it right on point that for all that ails us to go to community building as at the core, out of which other very positive developments may arise, including the ability to build and maintain greater levels of robust connections to the grassroots, such as at state and national levels. Cheers.
Kurt Hahn, the founder of Outward Bound, frames the social bonding of youth and community groups within the context of lifesaving. I think you can broaden the concept of lifesaving to include prosocial agency-building in general. But the challenge is that groups like the KKK will always have an appeal, because it is so easy and feels so good socially bond within the context of an emergency. Because of the ease of this type of reactive bonding, it can feel second-nature to build a community that socially bonds via blaming, hating, or terrorizing other people who you have deemed the cause of the emergency (aka antisocial bonding).
Hahn also writes about the necessity of youth and community groups that promote democratic prosocial lifesaving, because without them, totalitarian antisocial versions will fill the void.
Don’t forget the adults. All people need prosocial local institutions. Institutions that ask participation of us, within a particular obligation and to carry on a tradition. And these prosocial local institutions do not just magically appear. They come to exist when adults embrace, with stewardship, small scale obligation and particularism. I still remember going to my son’s first Little League game, and becoming verklempt out of sheer joy to hear all the other parents and coaches cheering him on. Really caring about him and supporting him. And it’s been a joy to give that care and support back to other kids now. To learn how to participate in and maintain that institution.
What is tragic, is that public K-12 ought to be the most universally accessible prosocial local institution. But instead, it has come to follow a gatekept corporate model, all in service of the higher-ed corporate interests. For instance, our high school afterschool extracurriculars cannot just take place. They have to meet all sorts of administrative standards so they can count for “credit.” And then this requires a credentialed teacher working contracted hours. Not to mention all this school (public) facility infrastructure that lies dormant. Locked classrooms that could otherwise be used by parent volunteers running homework clubs etc.
Phones are a symptom and a signal of institutional decay. Like antisocial morphine at rat park, the solution isn’t just taking away the phone. It’s building prosocial institutional bonding option as the alternative.
How I wish all those important voices with their big microphones were around 5-10 years ago when I was rushing in agony, raising my kids and feeling like a Cassandra trying to explain to everyone around the importance of kids independence, agency, walkability, social trust... :(
Yes, without a doubt, kids need authentic play outside of school. Not organized play but unhinged, self-directed play. But more than anything related to learning culture and the removal of screens, classrooms need play. As an independent play scientist, I have spent my career exploring play’s role in education, building pathways to eradicate play-deprivation in schools. While play’s importance is widely acknowledged, our commitment remains superficial. We must embrace play as a fundamental force of nature, integrating it into classrooms with urgency. By transforming classrooms into playgrounds of the mind, we empower children to embrace play as a moral imperative in their learning. I believe Jon Haidt has yet to fully grasp play’s role in the classroom. The focus on smartphones is shortsighted. The deeper issue is intellectual myopia among adults who fail to see the consequences of denying children the right to learn through play. Play-deprivation in our schools is not just an educational failure—it is a moral hazard, a systemic failure of parenting, schooling, and society. Like fish unaware of water, many do not recognize the restrictive culture shaping them. Play fosters moral order, helping children develop ethical reasoning and resilience. Even banning smartphones won’t fix a play-deprived learning culture. Deprived minds seek unhealthy outlets, while those enriched by play develop self-regulation and adaptability. As the underpinnings of education collapse and educators bail in the face of unruly children, there is an opportunity to fill the vacuum with a force of nature capable of restoring the balance and wisdom of play to its rightful place in the lives of children--and teachers.
While play’s importance is widely acknowledged, our commitment remains superficial.
Love this - and I agree - the answer isn't just in taking the phones away - it's very much also in giving kids alternatives that make making using their phones both impossible and unwanted.
It's kind of absurd to compare statistics in group participation over decades without acknowledging that a good deal of the decline has occurred because the kids were never born. This is also the reason for school district shrinkage and the reason why YMCAs and local pools are increasingly hiring fit retirees as lifeguards to replace the teenagers who were never born.
We have been desperately trying to start a Scout Troop for boys at our nonprofit serving refugees in Chicago. The Girl Scout council really helped us get started with all kinds a resources and volunteers. We have 50 refugee girls participating and many mothers! We are still struggling to do something similar for the boys. Even though we certainly have 50 boys desperate to participate, we have only been able to get enough help to invite 12 boys. How can I find more men willing to volunteer?
Go to nearby churches, synagogues, mosques etc.. Men who attend religious services regularly generally have a strong sense of community. Local clergy can help you to identify potential adult leaders. In addition, contact the Scouting district that serves your area. They can help.
As a former camp counselor, I've found that getting children out at first light sets the mental (and biological rhythm) for the day. Get out for the sunrise, and change your life!
Thanks for the great article, Seth. I found myself nodding along as you put into words what so many of us have been feeling. A few reflections from my experience growing up in the mid-90s and early 2000s:
- Shift to private youth sports:
Local sports leagues are steadily being replaced by private, pay-to-play models. Soccer, for example, used to be one of the most accessible sports. The biggest shift was not equipment costs, but participation. What was once a $100 local league became a $1,000 club commitment. This commoditization pushed out many talented players and eroded the sense of community within local town ecosystems (especially since so many parents were convinced their kid is the D1 prospect everyone is looking for. Spoiler: they're not.).
- Disappearance of accessible third spaces:
It has become increasingly difficult for kids to gather offline. Outside of structured activities, there are fewer places to simply spend time together. Malls have declined, parks are less accessible or less maintained, and potential gathering spaces are often bought and repurposed. Unless tied to an organized activity, options are limited. Even churches, which have long served as community anchors, are consolidating as participation declines. Transportation adds another barrier. Without access to a car, it becomes difficult for kids to see friends. Walking or public transit is often impractical, and many parents are understandably hesitant to allow independence without constant oversight. How many of today's helicopter parents even let their kids cross the street without supervision or an app tracking their exact location?
- Loss of informal, unstructured play:
The best nights I had as a kid were when the parents all got together for block parties (e.g., your dad's drinking buddies up on the side street were having a party for the adults around a bonfire or grill, and the kids all went to set off firecrackers or play Manhunt, Capture the Flag, or a similar game). The parents were nearby, so safety was available - but the kids formed into their own teams, had responsibility to look out for one another, and the only structure was 'hey, we're heading out in about 3 hours.' This was the exact social learning that I see kids today missing out on. I also believe you can use online communities to leverage real relationships, but the basis of all of my friendships is IRL experiences.
Thanks again for sharing your perspective. It really resonated and prompted me to reflect more deeply on how we arrived here.
Very sorry to read that Scouting is seeing such tough times in America.
I'm in the UK, and as well as being an anti-phone obsessive (as you might gather from the title of my Substack!), I also volunteer as a Scoutleader. The groups here remain incredibly popular, but as you might expect, are experiencing a shortage of volunteers.
Scouts is special. Many kids here have a packed schedule of other classes, mostly sports and dance. But they are heavily adult-led and over-organised in my opinion. Scouts stand out in valuing autonomy, trust in kids and a cheerfully freeform structure. Great to hear it championed.
"Scouts stand out in valuing autonomy, trust in kids and a cheerfully freeform structure."
YES - that is where Scouts stands apart. Sports and clubs are great, but as you said, they are primarily adult led.
Do not prepare the way for your child, rather, prepare your child for the way.
Thank you!
And it’s for another time, but regarding adult-led sports clubs… I believe there is a huge and noticeable difference in the way kids play in adult led football/soccer than the way they did in informal “jumpers for goalposts” games. Always having an authority figure to appeal to is not a recipe for good behaviour and growth!
They spent alot of time teaching us about honesty and being trustworthy. They connected this to community. With the Boy Scouts, I had fraternal brothers. To this day, i love camping.
That's wonderful you had such positive experiences.
I said I was a Scoutleader. More accurately, I lead a Beaver group (6-8 year olds - I don't know if you use the same terminology in the US?). I have the joy and privilege of organising their first camp away from their parents. It's properly magical.
I was in Cub Scouts first (ages 6-12) and then Boy Scouts up to 8th grade. I would have stayed in it but the troop disbanded. I spent so much time reading the manual. So, when they took us for 1 night away from home, I couldn't sleep I was so excited. I grew up in the city and desperately wanted to learn how to survive in nature. Now, I take kids like me camping so they will have a great memory. Glad to hear you are a scout leader. I use many of the same principles even now.
Here we have Beavers 6-8, then Cubs 8-10 and then 10-14 are Scouts.
That’s so wonderful to hear about the impact it made on you. I will bear that in mind during the rather painful admin of arranging our own camp!
YES! A thousand times YES to this - build community, get your kids active and involved in everything you can. Sports, clubs, activities, art, music. Force them if you have to! This idea that kids of any ages get to chose all of their own adventures is bullshit. Your job as a parent will forever be summed up in the phase "it's for your own good"
I know that perceptions have take a huge public hit in recent years (massively unfairly) but I can tell you that Boy Scouts has been awesome for my 14 & 16 yr old sons. I plan to write about the journey one one these days on Substack, but please - whether you have boys or girls, consider checking out your local Scout Troops. Give it a try! Your milage may vary, as Troops and Packs (Cub Scouts) are very individualized and driven by how much the parents invest in being leaders and working the programs, but it is 1,000% worth checking out. Hit me up on Substack if I can help in any way.
The lack of informal play groups is largely caused by the design of American neighborhoods built over the past half century, which are not walkable or bikable. Children who grow up in near suburbs built in the 1920s or before can just run around to each other's houses and play in the neighborhood, provided their parents aren't too paranoid. Kids in the exurbs can't go anywhere unless their parents agree to drive them there.
A relative worked with a Ukrainian woman who, with her husband, brought their two children over from Ukraine a few years before the war started. The 15-year-old girl became furiously rebellious and wanted to be sent back to her grandmother in Ukraine. Since I had lived in a similar country for a few years, my relative asked me if I had any idea what the girl's problem was. My educated guess was that in Ukraine she probably had free run of her town from age 5 on, even riding the bus, as I saw among kids where I lived. Then, at just the age where she is trying to gain still more independence, she's moved to an American exurb where she can't go anywhere unless her parents agreed to drive her.
Actually parents in cities made it work, too. Since I was Gen X, we had a lot of freedom exploring the city on our bikes. However, the Crack epidemic that hit in the early 80s changed that. By that time, I was a,teen.
One of the reasons for obesity among inner city kids now, I've read, is that it's too dangerous in some neighborhoods to go outside, so the kids stay cooped up all the time and eat.
Yes and no. There are neighborhoods where this is true. But declining community is also the culprit. People dont look out for each other like they did in the past. These fears are also fueling screen addiction, too.
The lack of good urban design is really underemphasized when considering the problem. Obviously the intentionality is key in forming these sorts of social groups. However, building our communities where this kind of interaction happens ORGANICALLY is key in solving the youth crisis. Kids can't build independence and participate in these kind of groups on a high enough level when they are dependent on parents to transport them. Parents who are both likely working full time due to high cost of living.
Valuable essay—respect!
Two critical empirical facts you missed:
1.] Boy Scouts attendance collapsed immediately Courts mandated girls attend and women be Scout leaders. [And that’s causal not correlational.]
2.] Churches meet your definition of the necessary organisations, and have and continue to fulfil the function you, so correctly and accurately, identify.
Keep up the good work!
One key component of the play-based childhood, and maybe the most-important element, is that—back in the day—most or many moms were at home, which meant kids were at home instead of at day care. Community groups can certainly be part of the fabric of neighborhood-centered youth culture, but if the kids aren't around because a parent isn't home to make that possible, I don't see how you gain traction by simply trying to revive the groups. My kids are raising their kids in a much different environment than my wife and I raised them and certainly than we ourselves were raised, and the biggest difference is that many or most moms are now at work and not at home.
My children are now in their 30's so it has been a while, but both my son and I were involved in Boy Scouts from the time he was a Tiger Scout to the time he received his Eagle. My wife and daughter were involved in Girl Scouts from Brownies to the time my daughter received her Gold Award. You hit the nail on the head. If you give kids responsibility, they rise to the occasion. As Scout leaders, we served largely in the background. The kids planned and cooked their own meals on campouts and set up their own campsites. We also had a hard and fast rule. NO ELECTRONICS ON A CAMPOUT!! Every year we had a new parent's meeting at the first campout. The message was DON'T HELP YOUR CHILD. Let the kids do everything. Adults camped in a separate area from the kids.
Things did not always go smoothly. Watching a group of eleven- to thirteen-year-old kids plan a menu and allocate chores, was actually pretty entertaining but they always got the job done. Parents can do things far faster and more efficiently that the kids. They can do those things with less conflict. But the whole point was about that conflict. That is how the kids learn and grow. When you remove that conflict, you remove the learning experience. And although there may have been more Oreo cookies on the menu than if an adult planned it the kids never starved and they always had hot meals for breakfast and dinner. Some of the meals were pretty darn good.
Your kids are ready for far more responsibility than you think. One of the things I really liked was watching the older boys helping and teaching the younger ones The job of a parent is to prepare your children for adulthood, not keep them wrapped in bubble wrap forever.
I taught the shotgun merit badge for many years, and I can tell you that the kids handled firearms far more safely than many adults I have seen. I started every class the same way. I would ask the kids how they would feel if their parents told them, OK, we have taken care of you long enough. You are on your own now. I would then explain I was going to do exactly that. When they were on the range, I would treat them like adults, and I would expect them to behave like adults. I explained to them that part of being an adult is zero-tolerance for being a kid around firearms. Once the firearms were cased and packed away, they could go back to being kids again. I probably taught over 100 kids "first shots" and I never had a single issue. That is not the case with some adults I have worked with.
The Eagle Scout award greatly helped my son to get in the university he wanted to attend. I recommend Scouts to anyone with children.
"Your kids are ready for far more responsibility than you think. One of the things I really liked was watching was the older boys helping and teaching the younger ones The job of a parent is to prepare your children for adulthood, not keep them wrapped in bubble wrap forever."
Wonderful response Jory!! As a Scoutmaster I often tell the other parents that the hardest part of the job is NOT helping!! NOT giving immediate answers. Letting them figure it out, following a chain-of-command of other Scouts and relying on the experience of the older Scouts to come up with solutions and face any consequences themselves.
The adults are just guardrails.
I wish all parents could experience just 1 meal prep/cooking/eating together/clean-up session on a Scout campout, complete with camp fire building, wood chopping, charcoal lighting and Dutch Oven meals.
Most would be amazed to see 14 and 15 year olds leading the way and 11 and 12 year olds doing so much more than most other parents would have believed them capable of.
Cherry cobbler cooked in a Dutch Oven while camping out on a cold winter night. Nothing will ever taste that good. 😆😆😆😆😆
Spot on! I think Dutch Oven Cobbler over a campfire might serve as my 'death row meal'
Very interesting analysis, but I believe two aspects of 21st century childhood were left out: excessive homework and after-school arrangements for children of working parents.
If we consider working parents, and many households still are still 2 breadwinner households. Who supervises the children from the end of school till parents get home? What is the responsibility to the after school caretaker in getting kids to and from Scouts or 4-H?
Also, are parents setting an example for their children to join organizations? Are the parents involved in their communities or are their lives mostly consumed by their jobs? I bring this up because i see from both stats and personal experience that it is very difficult to get adults involved in tradtional service oriented orgs like the Lions, Rotary, Elks and other groups. Even the attendance at American Legion has fallen. So, if parents are not setting an example of involvement, can we expect them to get their children involved? (Although I do see parents who use their children's organizational involvement as a way for them to be involved and social....although I personally find this odd and that problems develop when the kids are grown.).
Excessive homework especially in lower grades can be a deterrant for children's involvement and playtime as well. Although this might not be as big an issue across all school districs. Where it is, it can be a reason for lack of involvement.
Overall the issue of separating children from screens can be considered to be a bigger issue than "what's wrong with kids these days?". It could be more of a "what's wrong with families these days?" And "are these parents all right?" Maybe parents need less screen time too.
I have a friend who helps with coaching kids in sports, and he loves it. Adults can also jump on this wagon.
In regards to the subject matter here, I would say watch out for the acerbic things. In the US, we have a "boy scouts" and a "girl scouts". In Israel, they have "Hebrew Scouts", "Orthodox Scouts", "Arab Scouts", "Catholic Scouts", and "Druze Scouts", and they don't mix. Robert Putnam often uses the KKK as an example of community building with negative effects.
I find it right on point that for all that ails us to go to community building as at the core, out of which other very positive developments may arise, including the ability to build and maintain greater levels of robust connections to the grassroots, such as at state and national levels. Cheers.
Kurt Hahn, the founder of Outward Bound, frames the social bonding of youth and community groups within the context of lifesaving. I think you can broaden the concept of lifesaving to include prosocial agency-building in general. But the challenge is that groups like the KKK will always have an appeal, because it is so easy and feels so good socially bond within the context of an emergency. Because of the ease of this type of reactive bonding, it can feel second-nature to build a community that socially bonds via blaming, hating, or terrorizing other people who you have deemed the cause of the emergency (aka antisocial bonding).
Hahn also writes about the necessity of youth and community groups that promote democratic prosocial lifesaving, because without them, totalitarian antisocial versions will fill the void.
Don’t forget the adults. All people need prosocial local institutions. Institutions that ask participation of us, within a particular obligation and to carry on a tradition. And these prosocial local institutions do not just magically appear. They come to exist when adults embrace, with stewardship, small scale obligation and particularism. I still remember going to my son’s first Little League game, and becoming verklempt out of sheer joy to hear all the other parents and coaches cheering him on. Really caring about him and supporting him. And it’s been a joy to give that care and support back to other kids now. To learn how to participate in and maintain that institution.
What is tragic, is that public K-12 ought to be the most universally accessible prosocial local institution. But instead, it has come to follow a gatekept corporate model, all in service of the higher-ed corporate interests. For instance, our high school afterschool extracurriculars cannot just take place. They have to meet all sorts of administrative standards so they can count for “credit.” And then this requires a credentialed teacher working contracted hours. Not to mention all this school (public) facility infrastructure that lies dormant. Locked classrooms that could otherwise be used by parent volunteers running homework clubs etc.
Phones are a symptom and a signal of institutional decay. Like antisocial morphine at rat park, the solution isn’t just taking away the phone. It’s building prosocial institutional bonding option as the alternative.
How I wish all those important voices with their big microphones were around 5-10 years ago when I was rushing in agony, raising my kids and feeling like a Cassandra trying to explain to everyone around the importance of kids independence, agency, walkability, social trust... :(
NOW WHAT?
Yes, without a doubt, kids need authentic play outside of school. Not organized play but unhinged, self-directed play. But more than anything related to learning culture and the removal of screens, classrooms need play. As an independent play scientist, I have spent my career exploring play’s role in education, building pathways to eradicate play-deprivation in schools. While play’s importance is widely acknowledged, our commitment remains superficial. We must embrace play as a fundamental force of nature, integrating it into classrooms with urgency. By transforming classrooms into playgrounds of the mind, we empower children to embrace play as a moral imperative in their learning. I believe Jon Haidt has yet to fully grasp play’s role in the classroom. The focus on smartphones is shortsighted. The deeper issue is intellectual myopia among adults who fail to see the consequences of denying children the right to learn through play. Play-deprivation in our schools is not just an educational failure—it is a moral hazard, a systemic failure of parenting, schooling, and society. Like fish unaware of water, many do not recognize the restrictive culture shaping them. Play fosters moral order, helping children develop ethical reasoning and resilience. Even banning smartphones won’t fix a play-deprived learning culture. Deprived minds seek unhealthy outlets, while those enriched by play develop self-regulation and adaptability. As the underpinnings of education collapse and educators bail in the face of unruly children, there is an opportunity to fill the vacuum with a force of nature capable of restoring the balance and wisdom of play to its rightful place in the lives of children--and teachers.
While play’s importance is widely acknowledged, our commitment remains superficial.
Love this - and I agree - the answer isn't just in taking the phones away - it's very much also in giving kids alternatives that make making using their phones both impossible and unwanted.
Here is my take …
IF Community structures decline
AND the system shifts toward individual optimization, safety, and performance
THEN unstructured, peer-based childhood disappears
AND low-friction substitutes (screens) fill the gap
SO removing phones without redesigning the system will not restore childhood it will just remove the replacement
Phones didn’t break childhood. They scaled a system that already had.
The question isn’t: “How do we bring back youth groups?”
The question is: What kind of system makes youth groups inevitable?
It's kind of absurd to compare statistics in group participation over decades without acknowledging that a good deal of the decline has occurred because the kids were never born. This is also the reason for school district shrinkage and the reason why YMCAs and local pools are increasingly hiring fit retirees as lifeguards to replace the teenagers who were never born.
We have been desperately trying to start a Scout Troop for boys at our nonprofit serving refugees in Chicago. The Girl Scout council really helped us get started with all kinds a resources and volunteers. We have 50 refugee girls participating and many mothers! We are still struggling to do something similar for the boys. Even though we certainly have 50 boys desperate to participate, we have only been able to get enough help to invite 12 boys. How can I find more men willing to volunteer?
Go to nearby churches, synagogues, mosques etc.. Men who attend religious services regularly generally have a strong sense of community. Local clergy can help you to identify potential adult leaders. In addition, contact the Scouting district that serves your area. They can help.
Kudos for what you are doing!!
Don't forget teachers. When I ran programs in middle schools, teachers were my first volunteers.
As a former camp counselor, I've found that getting children out at first light sets the mental (and biological rhythm) for the day. Get out for the sunrise, and change your life!
Thanks for the great article, Seth. I found myself nodding along as you put into words what so many of us have been feeling. A few reflections from my experience growing up in the mid-90s and early 2000s:
- Shift to private youth sports:
Local sports leagues are steadily being replaced by private, pay-to-play models. Soccer, for example, used to be one of the most accessible sports. The biggest shift was not equipment costs, but participation. What was once a $100 local league became a $1,000 club commitment. This commoditization pushed out many talented players and eroded the sense of community within local town ecosystems (especially since so many parents were convinced their kid is the D1 prospect everyone is looking for. Spoiler: they're not.).
- Disappearance of accessible third spaces:
It has become increasingly difficult for kids to gather offline. Outside of structured activities, there are fewer places to simply spend time together. Malls have declined, parks are less accessible or less maintained, and potential gathering spaces are often bought and repurposed. Unless tied to an organized activity, options are limited. Even churches, which have long served as community anchors, are consolidating as participation declines. Transportation adds another barrier. Without access to a car, it becomes difficult for kids to see friends. Walking or public transit is often impractical, and many parents are understandably hesitant to allow independence without constant oversight. How many of today's helicopter parents even let their kids cross the street without supervision or an app tracking their exact location?
- Loss of informal, unstructured play:
The best nights I had as a kid were when the parents all got together for block parties (e.g., your dad's drinking buddies up on the side street were having a party for the adults around a bonfire or grill, and the kids all went to set off firecrackers or play Manhunt, Capture the Flag, or a similar game). The parents were nearby, so safety was available - but the kids formed into their own teams, had responsibility to look out for one another, and the only structure was 'hey, we're heading out in about 3 hours.' This was the exact social learning that I see kids today missing out on. I also believe you can use online communities to leverage real relationships, but the basis of all of my friendships is IRL experiences.
Thanks again for sharing your perspective. It really resonated and prompted me to reflect more deeply on how we arrived here.