I am a grandmother, retired teacher, who does not know much about gaming, excepting seeing my grandsons on it, the youngest most avidly. Sitting beside him I see him flip back-and-forth through screens so quickly, which are advertisements, others I'm sure are the payment opportunities. I don't think his parents have really sat down, seeing all that is going on.
I did read through all of your article just to better inform myself if possible. And, in addition to this most importantly is the attention you're giving to kids just on screens, in general, this stealing away there immediate touch with life. You knowing that the phones and the electronic devices, such as Chromebook, are all limiting the thinking abilities, the true thinking and discovering and integrative mental abilities of children, we handing over so much of our lives to the manipulation by non-human forces. We are in big trouble and a huge restoration of life to the living must continue and succeed.
I’m right there with you, I'm another grandma watching this unfold with growing concern. What you described sitting beside your grandson, I’ve seen the same thing. It’s not just entertainment anymore, it’s constant stimulation, manipulation, and distraction and most parents don’t realize how deep it goes.
You said it so well: we’re handing over our children’s minds to forces that don’t care about their growth or wellbeing. The hardest part is knowing how much has already been lost… but like you said, we must restore what it means to really live.
Grateful for your voice, we need more of us speaking up.
While this has taken over children's lives, it is the same happening in schools. Ever since the industrial revolution we've had industrialized education forcing children to give up their intuitive connection to life and focus only on fact, numbers, and letters, this hiked up terribly by tech. Those here with learning differences are wired toward what we have left behind in ourselves: inspiration, insight, passions, and life connection instead of separation and isolation. I'm retired, but am still striving to awaken education: www.heartcenteredminds.com.
It is amazing how much of this I didn’t know. We try to be aware of what our kids are playing and our oldest stopped the online games and social on his own saying it is a waste of time but it is so addictive!
Very alarming and comprehensive overview. Internet Gaming Disorder is a serious threat that requires parents to enforce unpopular rules. The internet has an on/off switch.
As someone who's been making games for 20 years now, this is something I've talked about regularly. While World of Warcraft may seem like the starting point to many (there were MUDD games prior - endless text based RPGs), I put the point at Facebook games. That was when straight up gambling mechanics were introduced. The techniques were then amplified in much of mobile gaming (which hooks adults as well)
The GaaS mobile is prevalent and the most popular games are ~8 years old now, meaning new games are having trouble catching on. You rightly mention that there is good/educational content on Roblox, but also there is plenty of bad
A knock-on effect issue is the games industry itself has become somewhat stagnant. GaaS games have hurt creativity in the AAA space as major publishers have become over reliant on them
Some potential good news, on the whole, is there is a drive by players for more bespoke content so AA/iii games have been making a comeback. Those games tend to be more traditional with an upfront cost and finite playtime based around a story
But Games like Roblox, Fortnite, etc remain extremely popular with kids and the streaming community. So if kids are watching Twitch or Youtube they can easily find streamers playing those games which, in turn, gets the kids to want to play
Parents need to be cognizant of what their kids are playing and understand what the games are. Best thing to do is get them a Switch (or Switch 2) and play games with them and let them play their own. There's a lot of great and fun games there that don't have the GaaS game systems embedded
Important for people to know: Boston Children's Digital Wellness Lab, which many families see as a trusted source of digital safety advice, is FUNDED BY ROBLOX.
Michael Rich, founder of the Roblox-backed Digital Wellness Lab, has said: “There should be no time limits on screens because that leads to deprivation and rebellion.” Michael Rich also helped draft the American Academy of Pediatrics' 2016 screen time guidelines, which, in a departure from the previous guidelines, no longer recommend any specific screen limits for children over the age of 5.
The guidelines: "It can be tempting to want a set number of hours on screens that is “safe” or healthy to guide your family’s technology use. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough evidence demonstrating a benefit from specific screen time limitation guidelines."
We have to start calling out these conflicts of interest. Would we trust dietary advice from a doctor or health organization who was funded by Burger King? Of course not. This is no different.
Thank you, Bennett and Zach. This post is essential reading, and your title is a statement I wish all parents would take to heart. Do some games have a place for some kids? Sure. But today's games almost always have a family impact trade-off of some kind related to conflict, content, and compulsivity. Parents, please carefully weigh the costs by doing research, playing the game (our 7-day rule), and making it clear up front that you can remove the game anytime.
Other small notes for parents: If an app-based game has an ad-free version, highly consider it. Paying the $0.99 to remove ads, which don't obey the age-rating of the game, is often worth it. I've received hundreds of messages from parents whose kids were exposed to explicit ads in games made "for kids." Don't allow kids to play games outside of their age-rating. Even at 12+ in the Apple App Store, Roblox is highly problematic, yet it's played by millions of elementary-aged children. And, you might consider a no-headphone rule for multi-player gameplay.
Yeah, there are no rules. Parental controls don't work. When set, on Apple for example, your kids cannot install a game above their age rating BUT they can still see them all and they can still request permission to install it, triggering a notification to the parent to decline or approve. And the ads seen in games do not correspond to the age settings. e.g. my kids playing 8 and under games but seeing boobs and bdsm type ads.
As a mom and grandma, this makes me furious. We handed our kids a weapon disguised as a toy and now we’re watching the fallout in real time. Their childhoods, their mental health, their very sense of self are being hijacked by systems that were never designed to protect them.
What scares me most is what comes next. If this is what it’s doing to them now, what happens in 10, 20 years? What kind of adults will this generation become if we don’t step in?
This isn’t parenting as we knew it, it’s a whole new battlefield. Thank you for saying what so many of us are feeling: it’s time to fight back.
VR and AR is next. A few kids in our area have a Meta Quest headset strapped on 8-12 hours a day ... any moment they're not in school. And my kids and plenty of others on our block who I overhear are pushing their parents hard to get one.
Absolutely. This situation is already unfolding, and it’s accelerating rapidly. While phones and tablets capture attention, VR headsets pull people into alternate realities. These kids aren’t simply zoning out; they’re vanishing into digital worlds for 8, 10, or even 12 hours a day. This isn’t just imagination, it’s a form of detachment.
The Meta Quest isn’t a mere toy; it’s a powerful immersive system designed to keep kids engaged for prolonged periods. When a child prefers to live behind a headset rather than participate in their own life, that should be a significant concern not just another item on their Santa wish list.
Parents need to take a moment to reflect on what we are allowing our children to engage with because this issue goes beyond just screen time. It concerns our children losing touch with what it truly means to be human.
what a dystopian world. Makes me nostalgic for my childhood spent playing outside, when the only video games were on the Atari. I feel sorry for kids today, and their parents who have to deal with this. Our political leaders have abdicated responsibility and are letting the video game companies make addiction and predation their business model.
Wow! Thank you for this VERY complete and thoughtful and informed analysis. As a gamer for more than 30 years, there was much about the contemporary scene that I had missed, since I had discovered that "free-to-play" cost more than conventional RPGs. My thought about the addictive nature of MMORPGs has always been that if we'd had these options when I was a kid, I never would have completed college, not to mention my post-graduate studies. That said, adults who have never tried RPGs or even strategy gaming are missing some really neat entertainments, and I think they also help you keep your brain sharp in retirement. But you DO need good self-control and lots of other relationships to keep your habits healthy. I hope we can find ways to police this new genre without distilling out the fun. And I totally agree with limiting phone use for youngsters.
Really insightful comment! I totally agree that there is a place for video games (I enjoy the occasional game myself!). But when there's money, kids and a clear misalignment in profit motives and child-use, something has to change.
Your portrayal of the dystopian hellscape amusement park is harrowing. I’m not sure why you say, “We are not telling parents to say no to video games.” I’m not sending my kids into Five Nights at Freddy’s! I’d say we should boycott the games until all those regulations are in place, but I think the current game makers lost their chance and we should move on. Childhood isn’t long enough to negotiate with these money-grubbing monsters.
Imagine inviting a new babysitter to your home. You open the front door to see a middle-aged foreigner with a videocamera telling you to leave your kids and credit card with him as you go enjoy some free time. What do you do?
Yes, Roblox is a mess and well known as unsafe for small kids.
With Android and iOS (Apple) you can use Google's Family link to control a kids phone. this will not work for enterprising older kids as if you remove the email address it will remove the protection. but you can see this in the Adults app, as they will stop using time on the phone and that's how you know. The app is very granular in what you can do. including locking the phone after a number of hours used or at a particular time. You can also block individual apps. as well as block installing new apps, or require them to ask. etc.
Not affiliated with Google etc. Just an interested geek.
Thank you for this for alerting us to this horror story I heard about Roblox and sexual predators several years ago and sold my stock. Brad Altimeter was always on CNBC Hawking Roblox. He never apologized for what was revealed and it's constantly lauded as some kind of genius and certainly constant bragger about the Thousand dollar to baby stock idea which is actually not his idea. I am horrified to learn that Roblox is not only continuing to harm our children, but obviously has exponentially increased its perverse harm. Thank you so much for this article. I hope lawsuits are coming for these pigs these perverts .Unbelievable that maga all worked up over the Epstein files, but they have nothing to say about this -look what video games did to Elon Musk !he and his Gestapo have wrouggt untold sadistic savagery on our devoted federal workforce on starving children around the world without a thought This is who young men look up to. We've got big big problem here , goes beyond Maga and Trump but clearly related in its sadistic disregsrd for drcency.
Genuinely curious why you’re blaming MAGA and Elon Musk here 🤷♀️ This piece was about tech’s impact on all our kids, across political lines. Big Tech, addictive algorithms, and the collapse of childhood aren’t a left or right issue, they’re a human issue.
We lose the plot if we turn this into just another partisan blame game. Our kids deserve better than that.
My kids play Minecraft. We have rules on what they are and aren’t allowed to do (no public servers that aren’t pre-approved; no playing with people we don’t know in person; time limits; playing in a public area of the house), and they’ve begged to play Fortnite and Roblox and I’ve said no every time.
We need to hit these problems in two ways. We need to start lobbying for tech companies to stop being predatory, and we as parents need to grow a pair and start limiting kids’ screen hours, saying no to phones and unlimited tech, and not just acting like it’s a free for all and our kids will be fine.
I am a grandmother, retired teacher, who does not know much about gaming, excepting seeing my grandsons on it, the youngest most avidly. Sitting beside him I see him flip back-and-forth through screens so quickly, which are advertisements, others I'm sure are the payment opportunities. I don't think his parents have really sat down, seeing all that is going on.
I did read through all of your article just to better inform myself if possible. And, in addition to this most importantly is the attention you're giving to kids just on screens, in general, this stealing away there immediate touch with life. You knowing that the phones and the electronic devices, such as Chromebook, are all limiting the thinking abilities, the true thinking and discovering and integrative mental abilities of children, we handing over so much of our lives to the manipulation by non-human forces. We are in big trouble and a huge restoration of life to the living must continue and succeed.
I’m right there with you, I'm another grandma watching this unfold with growing concern. What you described sitting beside your grandson, I’ve seen the same thing. It’s not just entertainment anymore, it’s constant stimulation, manipulation, and distraction and most parents don’t realize how deep it goes.
You said it so well: we’re handing over our children’s minds to forces that don’t care about their growth or wellbeing. The hardest part is knowing how much has already been lost… but like you said, we must restore what it means to really live.
Grateful for your voice, we need more of us speaking up.
Thank you, Kim. So great to hear from a similar heart and mind. Yes, we all need to speak up more, so may that happen.
🙏
While this has taken over children's lives, it is the same happening in schools. Ever since the industrial revolution we've had industrialized education forcing children to give up their intuitive connection to life and focus only on fact, numbers, and letters, this hiked up terribly by tech. Those here with learning differences are wired toward what we have left behind in ourselves: inspiration, insight, passions, and life connection instead of separation and isolation. I'm retired, but am still striving to awaken education: www.heartcenteredminds.com.
It is amazing how much of this I didn’t know. We try to be aware of what our kids are playing and our oldest stopped the online games and social on his own saying it is a waste of time but it is so addictive!
This is incredibly important stuff.
I touched on a subset of this problem in my Substack essay "why I fell out of love with Hermitcraft".
Keep up the good work After Babel team!
Very alarming and comprehensive overview. Internet Gaming Disorder is a serious threat that requires parents to enforce unpopular rules. The internet has an on/off switch.
As someone who's been making games for 20 years now, this is something I've talked about regularly. While World of Warcraft may seem like the starting point to many (there were MUDD games prior - endless text based RPGs), I put the point at Facebook games. That was when straight up gambling mechanics were introduced. The techniques were then amplified in much of mobile gaming (which hooks adults as well)
The GaaS mobile is prevalent and the most popular games are ~8 years old now, meaning new games are having trouble catching on. You rightly mention that there is good/educational content on Roblox, but also there is plenty of bad
A knock-on effect issue is the games industry itself has become somewhat stagnant. GaaS games have hurt creativity in the AAA space as major publishers have become over reliant on them
Some potential good news, on the whole, is there is a drive by players for more bespoke content so AA/iii games have been making a comeback. Those games tend to be more traditional with an upfront cost and finite playtime based around a story
But Games like Roblox, Fortnite, etc remain extremely popular with kids and the streaming community. So if kids are watching Twitch or Youtube they can easily find streamers playing those games which, in turn, gets the kids to want to play
Parents need to be cognizant of what their kids are playing and understand what the games are. Best thing to do is get them a Switch (or Switch 2) and play games with them and let them play their own. There's a lot of great and fun games there that don't have the GaaS game systems embedded
Great insights Drew, totally agree. Although we did not mention FB games here. They certainly popularized so many of these trends in a big way.
Important for people to know: Boston Children's Digital Wellness Lab, which many families see as a trusted source of digital safety advice, is FUNDED BY ROBLOX.
https://digitalwellnesslab.org/supporters/
Michael Rich, founder of the Roblox-backed Digital Wellness Lab, has said: “There should be no time limits on screens because that leads to deprivation and rebellion.” Michael Rich also helped draft the American Academy of Pediatrics' 2016 screen time guidelines, which, in a departure from the previous guidelines, no longer recommend any specific screen limits for children over the age of 5.
The guidelines: "It can be tempting to want a set number of hours on screens that is “safe” or healthy to guide your family’s technology use. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough evidence demonstrating a benefit from specific screen time limitation guidelines."
https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/media-and-children/center-of-excellence-on-social-media-and-youth-mental-health/qa-portal/qa-portal-library/qa-portal-library-questions/screen-time-guidelines/
We have to start calling out these conflicts of interest. Would we trust dietary advice from a doctor or health organization who was funded by Burger King? Of course not. This is no different.
Thank you, Bennett and Zach. This post is essential reading, and your title is a statement I wish all parents would take to heart. Do some games have a place for some kids? Sure. But today's games almost always have a family impact trade-off of some kind related to conflict, content, and compulsivity. Parents, please carefully weigh the costs by doing research, playing the game (our 7-day rule), and making it clear up front that you can remove the game anytime.
Other small notes for parents: If an app-based game has an ad-free version, highly consider it. Paying the $0.99 to remove ads, which don't obey the age-rating of the game, is often worth it. I've received hundreds of messages from parents whose kids were exposed to explicit ads in games made "for kids." Don't allow kids to play games outside of their age-rating. Even at 12+ in the Apple App Store, Roblox is highly problematic, yet it's played by millions of elementary-aged children. And, you might consider a no-headphone rule for multi-player gameplay.
Yeah, there are no rules. Parental controls don't work. When set, on Apple for example, your kids cannot install a game above their age rating BUT they can still see them all and they can still request permission to install it, triggering a notification to the parent to decline or approve. And the ads seen in games do not correspond to the age settings. e.g. my kids playing 8 and under games but seeing boobs and bdsm type ads.
This is so dystopian and sick. I’m stunned that this is legal.
As a mom and grandma, this makes me furious. We handed our kids a weapon disguised as a toy and now we’re watching the fallout in real time. Their childhoods, their mental health, their very sense of self are being hijacked by systems that were never designed to protect them.
What scares me most is what comes next. If this is what it’s doing to them now, what happens in 10, 20 years? What kind of adults will this generation become if we don’t step in?
This isn’t parenting as we knew it, it’s a whole new battlefield. Thank you for saying what so many of us are feeling: it’s time to fight back.
VR and AR is next. A few kids in our area have a Meta Quest headset strapped on 8-12 hours a day ... any moment they're not in school. And my kids and plenty of others on our block who I overhear are pushing their parents hard to get one.
Absolutely. This situation is already unfolding, and it’s accelerating rapidly. While phones and tablets capture attention, VR headsets pull people into alternate realities. These kids aren’t simply zoning out; they’re vanishing into digital worlds for 8, 10, or even 12 hours a day. This isn’t just imagination, it’s a form of detachment.
The Meta Quest isn’t a mere toy; it’s a powerful immersive system designed to keep kids engaged for prolonged periods. When a child prefers to live behind a headset rather than participate in their own life, that should be a significant concern not just another item on their Santa wish list.
Parents need to take a moment to reflect on what we are allowing our children to engage with because this issue goes beyond just screen time. It concerns our children losing touch with what it truly means to be human.
I am shocked and saddened by this. I have never allowed internet games in my home, but I had no idea it was this bad!
what a dystopian world. Makes me nostalgic for my childhood spent playing outside, when the only video games were on the Atari. I feel sorry for kids today, and their parents who have to deal with this. Our political leaders have abdicated responsibility and are letting the video game companies make addiction and predation their business model.
Wow! Thank you for this VERY complete and thoughtful and informed analysis. As a gamer for more than 30 years, there was much about the contemporary scene that I had missed, since I had discovered that "free-to-play" cost more than conventional RPGs. My thought about the addictive nature of MMORPGs has always been that if we'd had these options when I was a kid, I never would have completed college, not to mention my post-graduate studies. That said, adults who have never tried RPGs or even strategy gaming are missing some really neat entertainments, and I think they also help you keep your brain sharp in retirement. But you DO need good self-control and lots of other relationships to keep your habits healthy. I hope we can find ways to police this new genre without distilling out the fun. And I totally agree with limiting phone use for youngsters.
Really insightful comment! I totally agree that there is a place for video games (I enjoy the occasional game myself!). But when there's money, kids and a clear misalignment in profit motives and child-use, something has to change.
Your portrayal of the dystopian hellscape amusement park is harrowing. I’m not sure why you say, “We are not telling parents to say no to video games.” I’m not sending my kids into Five Nights at Freddy’s! I’d say we should boycott the games until all those regulations are in place, but I think the current game makers lost their chance and we should move on. Childhood isn’t long enough to negotiate with these money-grubbing monsters.
Imagine inviting a new babysitter to your home. You open the front door to see a middle-aged foreigner with a videocamera telling you to leave your kids and credit card with him as you go enjoy some free time. What do you do?
Yes, Roblox is a mess and well known as unsafe for small kids.
With Android and iOS (Apple) you can use Google's Family link to control a kids phone. this will not work for enterprising older kids as if you remove the email address it will remove the protection. but you can see this in the Adults app, as they will stop using time on the phone and that's how you know. The app is very granular in what you can do. including locking the phone after a number of hours used or at a particular time. You can also block individual apps. as well as block installing new apps, or require them to ask. etc.
Not affiliated with Google etc. Just an interested geek.
Thank you for this for alerting us to this horror story I heard about Roblox and sexual predators several years ago and sold my stock. Brad Altimeter was always on CNBC Hawking Roblox. He never apologized for what was revealed and it's constantly lauded as some kind of genius and certainly constant bragger about the Thousand dollar to baby stock idea which is actually not his idea. I am horrified to learn that Roblox is not only continuing to harm our children, but obviously has exponentially increased its perverse harm. Thank you so much for this article. I hope lawsuits are coming for these pigs these perverts .Unbelievable that maga all worked up over the Epstein files, but they have nothing to say about this -look what video games did to Elon Musk !he and his Gestapo have wrouggt untold sadistic savagery on our devoted federal workforce on starving children around the world without a thought This is who young men look up to. We've got big big problem here , goes beyond Maga and Trump but clearly related in its sadistic disregsrd for drcency.
Genuinely curious why you’re blaming MAGA and Elon Musk here 🤷♀️ This piece was about tech’s impact on all our kids, across political lines. Big Tech, addictive algorithms, and the collapse of childhood aren’t a left or right issue, they’re a human issue.
We lose the plot if we turn this into just another partisan blame game. Our kids deserve better than that.
My kids play Minecraft. We have rules on what they are and aren’t allowed to do (no public servers that aren’t pre-approved; no playing with people we don’t know in person; time limits; playing in a public area of the house), and they’ve begged to play Fortnite and Roblox and I’ve said no every time.
We need to hit these problems in two ways. We need to start lobbying for tech companies to stop being predatory, and we as parents need to grow a pair and start limiting kids’ screen hours, saying no to phones and unlimited tech, and not just acting like it’s a free for all and our kids will be fine.