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Traci Ruble's avatar

I am just back from Slovakia where I ditched the women's conference I was there for and instead sat on the sidewalk and listened to people, as I started doing in San Francisco 8 years ago for Sidewalk Talk. And my second day listening only high schoolers sat down and talked. Not a representative sample because they self selected to come to talk to me, were out of the house at a street food market, but they were one generation out of communist rule. So they had a focus that was about thriving rather than social comparison. And that felt marked to me.

But I am write this as a psychotherapist getting ready to go into a day of sessions after another shooting of young school age kids. And I know it will be a topic of conversation. I am readying a paper by psychoanalytically oriented therapists here: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/10.1080/15289168.2023.2167045 And what they highlight that I want to bring in is loneliness as an add on to safetyism and social comparison. And I don't mean run-of-the-mill loneliness but existential terrifying loneliness. This paper suggests teens are being incredibly let down, by us grown ups and authority figures. We have left them to their own devices (pun intended) as a kind of existential abandonment and have not demonstrated any true capacity to help them hold the complexity of their terrifying feelings. We are bubble wrapping them instead of sitting in the muck with them. We are ourselves lack the skills to regulate our own feelings and instead polarize. What signals are we giving teens that the grownups can help them? My teen sons love calling everyone "Boomer" and I hear it is a thumbing the nose at the grown ups who are to blame. They are both angry at the grown ups and also simultaneously need us to act like grown ups, I think. Not by bubble wrapping them but by sitting in the feelings, setting good boundaries and tending human connection as value.

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Jim Geschke's avatar

I read "The Coddling" early last year. It opened my eyes surely, but also confirmed something I'd already seen happening in my classroom (I'm now a retired high school teacher). I saw before my eyes a new addiction emerge -- the addiction to smart phones, specifically social media ... especially Instagram and TikTok.

So Dr. Haidt et. al. have seen the correlation with overall teen mental health (i.e. depression, anxiety, self-harm).

I'd be most curious to see if the exponential rise in gender dysphoria correspondes with the mental health data. In 2005, one in 2000 adolescents identified as trans. Now I've seen figures as high as one in five. That's a 2,000 percent rise in gender dysphoria. 2000 percent!

I'd like to see data analysis on the meteoric climb in trans identity, which seems to correspond directly to Dr. Haidt's et. al. research on mental illness.

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