Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Greg Baer's avatar

Brilliant article, and yet here we are again using scientific criteria to establish a link between social media use and mental health, all while simple observation and common sense tell us without any doubt that kids with smart phones are much more likely to be detached from their families, isolated, and prone to depression and other mental health disorders. If we continue this level of insistence on proving the obvious, perhaps we need a study to establish whether infants are more or less healthy when they are fed grass clippings instead of formula.

Before the existence of smartphones and social media, is there any doubt whatever that the single factor most important in establishing the mental health and “success” of children was the physical, emotional, and moral environment created by parents? No, and yet now, since the introduction of phones, we have somehow dismissed this central role of parents?

The simple truth is that minor children living at home—who depend on the care of their parents—do not need phones at all. They’ve lived without them for thousands of years, and the past dozen years have not proven that the net value of phones is positive. Sure, children do sometimes need internet connection—notably for school assignments—but they can do that from a home computer or school computer, where their screens can be seen at all times and their internet history examined. And parents must stop their silly attempts to manage phone use and social media—which kids quickly learn to bypass—and go straight for removing smartphones entirely. Millions of children with sensible parents have proven that the policy of no phones actually works, while all the corporate and parental controls in the world are but feeble obstacles for children to dodge.

But simple phone removal is not enough, just as drug treatment centers have proven that withdrawal without support is useless. We can’t just take away the superficial and harmful connection of phones and social media. Children still yearn for the fulfillment of genuine connection, and the obvious and primary answer for that need is parents. And right there is both the real problem and the solution: most parents don’t know how to unconditionally love their children, the kind of love that provides the ultimate connection children need.

The emphasis is on unconditional love, the kind of love without the destructive effects of disappointment, guilt, obligation, and anger. Parents need to learn how to unconditionally love their children. And the course material has already been created and tested for thirty years. Visit the free websites RealLoveParents.com and RealLove.com and learn how to find unconditional love and share it with your children.

Expand full comment
Geoffe's avatar

Beautiful breakdown. Thank you for banging this drum so clearly.

We all recognize that children are just first right? That adults suffer in these ways too?

Expand full comment
8 more comments...

No posts