Sherry, just this week I searched up your name to see whether you had added your essential voice to the current AI conversation! Thank you for bringing your work from *Reclaiming Conversation* back to the forefront; it has never been more urgent than now. My husband and I have been writing on navigating daily life in the Machine Age with a focus on the importance of human connection and support a tectonic shift in our relationship to technology. We lead annual community digital fasts, and provide practical guidance for turning away from screens and toward each other (The 3Rs of Unmachining https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/p/the-3rs-of-unmachining-guideposts). We will be bringing your work back into conversation, espcially as it relates to parent-child relationships.
The deliberate targeting of children by these techno bros, like Meta, is particularly alarming. They are taking the once upon a time innocent game of pretend that children love to play, turning it into an imaginary friend and confidante, for what is nothing more than a method of mining the very souls of the most innocent among us for data collection. It is diabolical in the most literal sense, if you ask me, and should be against the law. LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE!!
What I have found to be profoundly discouraging is when people who I care for won't put down their device regardless of the setting. Just like an addict needs an intervention of loved ones who come together and let the addict know they need help, we need interventions for screen addicts. What's tricky is finding a group who isn't addicted to their own screens.
Sherry, thank you for the important work you are doing! Among other comments about why it's important to converse with other humans, this one resonates most: When you reach out to make common cause with another person, accepting all the ways they are different from you, you increase your capacity for human understanding.
My work in education brings me to the question I'm wrestling with the most right now: How do we show/convince/teach/instill the notion that increasing ones capacity for human understanding is important? What motivates someone to learn the behaviors of conversation with another person? [Ideas welcomed! None expected. Some are on the way.]
What I discovered: No amount of rational arguments, irrespective of how plausible they are, can truly convince another person to train and sharpen his „social skills“. (This, I would argue, is a similar desperate attempt as trying to convince another person to stop smoking or moving more by solely relying upon objective facts.)
Instead, what I found successful: Go out with the person and let him experience the consequences the lack of „social skills“ leads to (or can lead to).
Of course, the person shouldn’t know about it. Also, it should be somehow in a „controlled environment“.
Pair this „feeling“ together with the „facts“, and usually people have that crucial „Ah, now I get it“ experience.
Is this scalable to more than a handful of people, e. g., to the size of a classroom? I don’t know, to be honest.
in this I note that going out means going out. I respect your comment that the group outing does not need to be large, but it needs to be face to face.
Getting a reply from the author itself surely is a honor; thanks a lot, Sherry.
And yes, sorry for my imprecision: When I said „Go out with the person“, I literally meant to take the person and visit together places or do activities outside of the (usually) comfortable home.
Face to face is critically here, because „proper conversation“ is way more than just the exchange of words.
As someone who never got a cell phone I've watched the progression of its eventual dominance over our social relations with amusement and, increasingly, dismay. I concluded that the phone is simply more interesting than people. The reasons for that stem from the degraded nature of conversation. More often than not we don't really converse, we exchange rants. Intimacy, that which makes conversation intriguing, has gone by the by because our appetite for it has atrophied or perhaps, for the young, they've never experienced it.
This is absolutely beautiful prose on tech and the ills of generative AI. The downfall of our cognitive minds and thinking makes me realize that one day, there’s a chance that our minds won’t be capable of producing such vivid beauty.
Excellent, Sherry! I know people who replace human companionship with dogs and/or cats, but chatbots are a much higher levels of that. Where will this take humanity?
I have been a fan of Sherry Turkle for a decade, and thank you for this article, she is more eloquent than ever. As a person in my 70's, I have increasingly felt confused and isolated in our digital world, and particularly alarmed by the unleashing of AI. I'm an artist who works primarilly with masks, and many times I've reflected that so much of our conversation/exchange has to do with facial and body gestures, the light in one's eyes, the emphasis upon spoken words, the habitat and context within which conversational participants interact, even the subtle energetic fields that surround any living body - smell, pheromones, even auras. So much goes on when we interact with another embodied human being
I’ve been reading and rereading this book for 12 months now at the same time that I’ve been experimenting widely with AI. Both at the same time and on purpose.
I’m continually referring friends to this book and I’ve actually developed a class for elders aimed at teaching them how to write short personal stories with the express goal of sharing the value life gave them to spark real-time, same place reflective conversations with friends and family members — while they’re still able.
It’s your fault I’ve done this, Sherry. Your thinking and John Dewey’s thinking about the crucial values of direct human experience and dialogue. Especially now.
And it’s been deeply rewarding to see what’s happening when my students learn to write personal stories – instead of reports or sermons or explanations – because giving their stories to friends and family members is enabling them to have reflective conversations across differences of age and gender and political preferences, and all the other dividers. Stories based on personal experiences short-circuit arguments because they’re not opinions; they’re not even facts. They’re language aimed at others’ human imaginations instead of their opinion- and argument-machines.
This makes them easier places to initiate conversations.
I’m profoundly grateful for all the work you’ve done in this area and so glad to see you releasing it again and pulling it up here in Substack.
Now 75, I’ve spent my life researching and teaching and consulting around communication and I would put this book in the top five most important books in the last 25 years. God bless you, woman!
If AI has a conversation with you that’s indistinguishable from conversations you have with people it means the people you’re talking with are artificial. Stop talking to fake people. That would be all the fake people coming out of universities, all politicians, judges, bankers, police.
Here's a radical idea: take the phone away. Be a parent. Stop making technology and Big Government solve problems that require human relationships and boundaries.
Sherry, I begin all of my school Mental Health & Tech Professional Development sessions by reminding them of your prophetic "Connected but Alone?" TED Talk. You were a clarion voice in the desert when few were wise enough to recognize what was happening. Thank you for your consistent and clear explanations of the problems and solutions.
Sherry, just this week I searched up your name to see whether you had added your essential voice to the current AI conversation! Thank you for bringing your work from *Reclaiming Conversation* back to the forefront; it has never been more urgent than now. My husband and I have been writing on navigating daily life in the Machine Age with a focus on the importance of human connection and support a tectonic shift in our relationship to technology. We lead annual community digital fasts, and provide practical guidance for turning away from screens and toward each other (The 3Rs of Unmachining https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/p/the-3rs-of-unmachining-guideposts). We will be bringing your work back into conversation, espcially as it relates to parent-child relationships.
Thank you again for adding your voice!
The deliberate targeting of children by these techno bros, like Meta, is particularly alarming. They are taking the once upon a time innocent game of pretend that children love to play, turning it into an imaginary friend and confidante, for what is nothing more than a method of mining the very souls of the most innocent among us for data collection. It is diabolical in the most literal sense, if you ask me, and should be against the law. LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE!!
Her emphasis on “embodied” intelligence as an essential element in maintaining our humanity is a contribution of immense proportions.
What I have found to be profoundly discouraging is when people who I care for won't put down their device regardless of the setting. Just like an addict needs an intervention of loved ones who come together and let the addict know they need help, we need interventions for screen addicts. What's tricky is finding a group who isn't addicted to their own screens.
Sherry, thank you for the important work you are doing! Among other comments about why it's important to converse with other humans, this one resonates most: When you reach out to make common cause with another person, accepting all the ways they are different from you, you increase your capacity for human understanding.
My work in education brings me to the question I'm wrestling with the most right now: How do we show/convince/teach/instill the notion that increasing ones capacity for human understanding is important? What motivates someone to learn the behaviors of conversation with another person? [Ideas welcomed! None expected. Some are on the way.]
What I discovered: No amount of rational arguments, irrespective of how plausible they are, can truly convince another person to train and sharpen his „social skills“. (This, I would argue, is a similar desperate attempt as trying to convince another person to stop smoking or moving more by solely relying upon objective facts.)
Instead, what I found successful: Go out with the person and let him experience the consequences the lack of „social skills“ leads to (or can lead to).
Of course, the person shouldn’t know about it. Also, it should be somehow in a „controlled environment“.
Pair this „feeling“ together with the „facts“, and usually people have that crucial „Ah, now I get it“ experience.
Is this scalable to more than a handful of people, e. g., to the size of a classroom? I don’t know, to be honest.
To learn the significance, one needs to feel it.
in this I note that going out means going out. I respect your comment that the group outing does not need to be large, but it needs to be face to face.
Getting a reply from the author itself surely is a honor; thanks a lot, Sherry.
And yes, sorry for my imprecision: When I said „Go out with the person“, I literally meant to take the person and visit together places or do activities outside of the (usually) comfortable home.
Face to face is critically here, because „proper conversation“ is way more than just the exchange of words.
As someone who never got a cell phone I've watched the progression of its eventual dominance over our social relations with amusement and, increasingly, dismay. I concluded that the phone is simply more interesting than people. The reasons for that stem from the degraded nature of conversation. More often than not we don't really converse, we exchange rants. Intimacy, that which makes conversation intriguing, has gone by the by because our appetite for it has atrophied or perhaps, for the young, they've never experienced it.
This is absolutely beautiful prose on tech and the ills of generative AI. The downfall of our cognitive minds and thinking makes me realize that one day, there’s a chance that our minds won’t be capable of producing such vivid beauty.
Excellent, Sherry! I know people who replace human companionship with dogs and/or cats, but chatbots are a much higher levels of that. Where will this take humanity?
This is why the best part of my week is being part of a community choir, highly recommend it to reclaim the conversation.
I have been a fan of Sherry Turkle for a decade, and thank you for this article, she is more eloquent than ever. As a person in my 70's, I have increasingly felt confused and isolated in our digital world, and particularly alarmed by the unleashing of AI. I'm an artist who works primarilly with masks, and many times I've reflected that so much of our conversation/exchange has to do with facial and body gestures, the light in one's eyes, the emphasis upon spoken words, the habitat and context within which conversational participants interact, even the subtle energetic fields that surround any living body - smell, pheromones, even auras. So much goes on when we interact with another embodied human being
I’m so absolutely delighted to see this post.
I’ve been reading and rereading this book for 12 months now at the same time that I’ve been experimenting widely with AI. Both at the same time and on purpose.
I’m continually referring friends to this book and I’ve actually developed a class for elders aimed at teaching them how to write short personal stories with the express goal of sharing the value life gave them to spark real-time, same place reflective conversations with friends and family members — while they’re still able.
It’s your fault I’ve done this, Sherry. Your thinking and John Dewey’s thinking about the crucial values of direct human experience and dialogue. Especially now.
And it’s been deeply rewarding to see what’s happening when my students learn to write personal stories – instead of reports or sermons or explanations – because giving their stories to friends and family members is enabling them to have reflective conversations across differences of age and gender and political preferences, and all the other dividers. Stories based on personal experiences short-circuit arguments because they’re not opinions; they’re not even facts. They’re language aimed at others’ human imaginations instead of their opinion- and argument-machines.
This makes them easier places to initiate conversations.
I’m profoundly grateful for all the work you’ve done in this area and so glad to see you releasing it again and pulling it up here in Substack.
Now 75, I’ve spent my life researching and teaching and consulting around communication and I would put this book in the top five most important books in the last 25 years. God bless you, woman!
Thank you!
I think this is incredibly helpful and timely!
Human connection is a major determinant of health. Thank you
If AI has a conversation with you that’s indistinguishable from conversations you have with people it means the people you’re talking with are artificial. Stop talking to fake people. That would be all the fake people coming out of universities, all politicians, judges, bankers, police.
Here's a radical idea: take the phone away. Be a parent. Stop making technology and Big Government solve problems that require human relationships and boundaries.
Sherry, I begin all of my school Mental Health & Tech Professional Development sessions by reminding them of your prophetic "Connected but Alone?" TED Talk. You were a clarion voice in the desert when few were wise enough to recognize what was happening. Thank you for your consistent and clear explanations of the problems and solutions.