Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Kevin Rigley's avatar

The anti-social-media brigade has missed the point.

Screens are not the real problem. Social media is not the real problem. They are symptoms of a much deeper failure in how we raise and educate children. Australia’s under-16 social media law is a good example of a political class reacting before thinking, it treats the screen as the cause, when in truth the screen has rushed in to fill a vacuum we ourselves have created. Australia did pass a minimum-age law for social media, and parliamentary scrutiny later also pointed to the need for broader design and duty-of-care reforms, which is precisely the point: the issue is larger than the app.

Children are not born passive. They are born curious. They are born exploratory. They are born wanting to master the world. You see it in a baby learning to walk, falling and trying again. You see it in a toddler throwing food from a high chair, not because the child is naughty, but because the child is running an experiment. You see it in every healthy child who climbs, builds, imitates, risks, negotiates, argues, plays, fails, and returns for more. The natural condition of childhood is not avoidance. It is engagement.

What have we done? We have built a culture that removes struggle from childhood and then acts surprised when children become fragile. We smooth the path, lower the bar, over-supervise, over-explain, over-accommodate, over-diagnose, and then hand children devices to pacify the rest. We have confused comfort with development. But children do not become curious, resilient, brave, or confident by being protected from stress. They become those things by meeting manageable stress, mastering it, and discovering that they can survive it.

That is the real issue. Childhood is supposed to contain friction. Not trauma. Not chaos. Not neglect. But friction. Effort. Waiting. Boredom. Disappointment. Social risk. Physical challenge. Trial and error. The small struggles through which a child learns, “I can do hard things.” Remove that, and you do not produce a safer child. You produce a weaker one.

That is why I do not accept the lazy narrative that social media is the villain and banning it is the solution. A ban may deal with one outlet, but it does nothing to address the deeper developmental emptiness that made the outlet so seductive in the first place. If a child has not been prepared to tolerate boredom, pursue mastery, seek meaning, and enjoy real-world competence, then of course the phone wins. The phone offers stimulation without effort, novelty without risk, and reward without struggle. It is not the cause of the developmental deficit. It exploits it.

We are not preparing children for life. We are preparing them for avoidance. We are not preparing them to be adventurous in mind or character. We are preparing them to seek regulation through external stimulation because we have not helped them build regulation from within. That is why the debate about screens is too shallow. It stays at the level of technology when the real question is developmental.

The proper response is not just fewer screens. It is richer childhoods. More outdoor play. More unscripted exploration. More responsibility. More social negotiation. More mixed-age play. More real challenge. More opportunities to fail, recover, and try again. More environments that build courage instead of dependency.

The question is not whether children should have less social media. Plainly, many should.

The question is why so many children now need artificial stimulation to replace the curiosity, confidence, and resilience that a healthy childhood ought to have built in the first place.

We have not merely given children screens.

We have taken away the struggle. And that is the bigger mistake.

Kevin Rigley's avatar

Twenge is describing the surface phenomenon with good data: more leisure technology during the school day is associated with lower test scores and greater loneliness. But in your terms, the deeper issue is not simply that phones are “distracting.” It is that they alter the child’s interostate, fragment attention, reduce opportunities for embodied co-regulation, and keep the nervous system in a state of shallow, externally driven stimulation. What is being displaced is not just academic focus. It is the micro-stress/micro-reward cycle through which children learn to regulate themselves, relate to others, and build autonomy.

A response in your voice could read like this:

Jean Twenge is right to point to the correlation between device use in school, declining test scores, and rising loneliness. But I would go further. The problem with phones in schools is not merely that they distract from lessons. It is that they interrupt the biological conditions required for learning itself.

Learning is not just the transfer of information. It is a physiological process. A child must be in the right internal state before the cognitive systems can come online properly. When a child is constantly pulled toward the rapid, low-friction rewards of a phone, they are not practising sustained attention, social reciprocity, or the toleration of manageable challenge. They are being trained into a different equilibrium.

In the lunch hall, on the playground, and in the classroom, phones displace exactly the kinds of experiences children most need: conversation, boredom, rough-and-tumble negotiation, eye contact, play, conflict resolution, waiting, and the subtle emotional calibration that comes from being with other human beings. These are not peripheral to development. They are central to it.

So yes, phones lower academic performance. But that is only part of the story. They also weaken the child’s access to autonomy, relationship, and regulation. They make the school day less human. And a less human school day is bound to become a lonelier one.

If we are serious about education, then bell-to-bell phone bans are only the beginning. We should also be asking what kind of nervous systems our schools are cultivating. Are we creating environments that promote autonomic flexibility, social connection, and deep learning? Or are we allowing an architecture of interruption to shape the developing mind?

The real question is not whether devices are convenient. It is whether they are compatible with the kind of children, and the kind of society, we want to help bring into being.

32 more comments...

No posts

Ready for more?