A Not-So-Smartphone
How a 3D-printed prank revealed the power of collective action
Today’s essay is by Tracy Foster, co-founder and executive director of Screen Sanity, a nonprofit dedicated to helping kids stay captivated by life, not screens. Her piece is essential reading for any parent navigating the tricky social dynamics that arise when your child comes home and says, “Mom! Everyone else has an iPhone!”
— Zach
“Mom, Everett has an iPhone.”
Last year, my fourth grade son, Everett, became the proud owner of a 3D printer. It’s been a fun, creative outlet and family and friends love receiving his designs as gifts. But one recent project nearly sparked a fourth-grade frenzy.
One afternoon, Everett came home from school and said, “Mom, I know exactly what I want to print.” Two hours later, a multicolored, life-sized 3D-printed iPhone, with a case, sat on our kitchen table. “Kids are going to go crazy for this,” he said.
(Yes, even as a founder of a nonprofit focused on healthy digital habits, my family still faces the allure of tech!)
The next day, Everett brought his “phone” to school—where it was confiscated, thanks to the school's cell phone policy. But it was too late. The rumor had already started: Everett has a phone! Word spread fast, first among kids and then parents. Just five minutes after pick-up, I got a text from another mom: “Everett showed me his phone!”
Fortunately, because our school’s parent community has had several collective conversations around tech, I had preemptively texted a group of parents to give them the heads up. But the whole incident reminded me just how fast a half-truth can spread when it comes to kids and technology.
The Information Asymmetry
Kids talk. A lot. They spend seven to eight hours a day together, trading stories about YouTube, Fortnite, apps, smartwatches, and rules at home.
Parents? Not so much. When your child comes home from school and says, “Everyone in my class has a smartwatch,” or in this case, “Everett has an iPhone!” it’s hard to know what’s true. Maybe your kid really is the only one not in the group chat—or, maybe that’s just how it feels. This gap, between what kids know and what parents know, is a classic case of information asymmetry. In economic terms, it’s when one party in a negotiation has more or better information than the other, often leading to poor decisions, unnecessary anxiety, or even exploitation.
In parenting, information asymmetry sounds like this:,
“Everyone has a phone!”
“No one else has rules like ours.”
I’m the only one who can’t play Fortnight.”
Our kids are swimming in a sea of tech talk. But we parents are often flying blind—busy, overstretched, and unsure of who to talk to or how to bring it up without sounding preachy or out of touch.
We’re not alone in feeling this. But we often feel alone—because we’re not connected.
When Parents Come Together
This is exactly why my co-founders and I created Screen Sanity: to help parents connect, support one another, and share best practices for raising kids in a digital world. Through programs like our Parent Night Kit, we’ve seen the power of even small conversations to unlock real insight and create a closer community.
When parents talk, confidence goes up. New norms emerge. We hear each other’s wins, worries, and ideas. We stop second-guessing so much. We realize: We’re not the only ones, and we break out of the information asymmetry trap.
But we also know how hard it is to start. Over the years, we’ve heard it all:
“I don’t have time.”
“I don’t want to be that parent.”
“I’m worried I’ll make my kid feel left out.”
“This is just the world they’re growing up in.”
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
Still, we’ve seen how even tiny steps can shift everything:
A casual book club.
A podcast recommendation.
A text thread among friends.
A “phone basket” at a birthday party.
A conversation at the soccer field: “Hey, are any of you thinking about this too?”
Here are two stories that show just how powerful it can be when one parent decides to speak up.
Story 1: The Courage to Go First
In a small town, one mom sat at her kitchen table feeling uneasy. Her daughter had just shared a story about a disturbing trend circulating on social media (the ‘pass out challenge’). That night, the mom lay awake wondering: Am I the only one worried about this? She wasn't a PTA leader. She wasn’t outspoken. But she emailed the school principal and proposed something new: a Parent Night using materials from Screen Sanity.
She almost didn’t send it because she didn’t want to come across as alarmist (or worse, preachy). But the school said yes.
Only 12 families showed up. But halfway through the session, hands started going up. One dad admitted, “I thought I was the only one who didn’t know how to handle this.”
At the group’s second session, 60 families showed up. Since then, their school community has gathered each semester, created a shared technology expectations flyer for families, and even introduced an optional device curfew contract. What started as a single, nervous voice has become a rhythm of shared wisdom and much less second-guessing when discussions about phones and social media come up at the dinner table.
Story 2: A Simple Conversation Unites a Neighborhood
In another community, a mom had a simple conversation with a neighbor: “Could we offer our kids less screen time and more free play?” They invited a few other parents to read The Anxious Generation and then hosted a neighborhood discussion.
By the end, they’d agreed:
The kids can run freely through each other’s yards
No phones during neighborhood play. Watches were fine for emergencies.
That one conversation lifted the pressure—and helped parents feel aligned.
Soon after, a mom approached the city about an underused patch of land nearby. Now the neighborhood is transforming it into a “free play zone”—complete with logs, trails, and plans for shared materials.
New families are joining in as they move in. Together, they are building a child-friendly community and a network of adults who are all working together to bring back the play-based childhood.
Starting the Conversation
Like these parents, perhaps you sense a need for change, but don’t know how to start. Here are a few ways to open the door:
The in-the-news spotlight: “Whoa – I just watched Adolescence on Netflix. Have you seen it? I’m trying to figure out what to do…would you be up for coffee to discuss?”
The casual curiosity opener: “I heard this podcast the other day about kids and group chats. Have you had to deal with that yet?”
The playdate preamble: “Do you think the kids can have some time offline first, and then they can go online later? We’re trying to find a bit of balance at our house…I feel like I’m the never-ending bad guy.”
The community-building nudge: “A few of us were talking about screen challenges at dinner last night—would you ever want to get a few parents together and talk about it?”
It might feel awkward at first. But often, when one person says, “This is hard,” someone else says, “Me too.”
These moments of shared vulnerability are difficult, but they can turn into something much bigger. When we create space to speak up, we begin to restore balance to the conversation. We break the loop of uncertainty and create a loop of learning, sharing, and discussing.
From Confusion to Connection
Everett's fake iPhone sparked more than just a hallway buzz. It also reminded me of something important: communication is the antidote to confusion.
In a world where kids constantly share with each other, parents must find ways to do the same. The solution isn’t tighter control. It’s more connection.
When parents talk with each other—not with judgment, but with honesty and curiosity—we replace confusion with clarity. We shift the conversation from “everyone has a phone” to “here’s what works for us—what about you?”
In doing so, we model for our kids the most powerful kind of connection: not through screens, but between human beings, building a shared culture, one honest conversation at a time.
 | A guest post by
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While I welcome Screen Sanity's ideas, it's hard not to notice that this "non-profit" website has an awful lot of things for sale: $10 for our online webinar; $250 for a one-time-use parent's night kit; $15 for our middle school tech planner. But wait... there's more!
For several years, I've been running seminars in CA for homeschool families on how to integrate tech into their lives safely. I do it for free. I don't advertise. I often pay for my own travel. When I speak at the CHEA convention at Biola this weekend, I won't have a team hawking $15 tech planners in the back of the room.
Maybe her heart is still in the right place, but when I see people using faux-altruism to sell products to scared parents who just want strategies for how to not lose their kids to the Cult of Tech, it kind of ticks me off.
I can relate to so much of this. Just last weekend during my son's tennis l got talking to another mum about screens. She mentioned that she felt it was inevitable that she would have to get her child a smartphone when he starts secondary school in September. She didn't want to but also didn't want him to be left out. I told her about the Smartphone Free Childhood movement in the UK and that I wasn't planning on giving my boy's smart phones, and neither were lots of my other local friends. It feels hard when you want to do something different to the majority but it is so important to talk to other parents about this kind of thing. Often you realise it isn't just you feeling this way and the more people that take a stand, the better it will be for our kids.